Owning my Magnitude

I have been putting off this email because it means I am going to be vulnerable. While many of you think what I write is vulnerable, sharing personal art takes a whole new level of courage.

This is the type of art designed for me. It is called process art, and it will never be sold because it is a part of me. Now that it is finished, I get to absorb all the energy that I put into it- and I am integrating all the lessons learned from this six month process.

And crazy me, I liked the process so much that I am doing it again with a new intention. (Who knew how much I liked uncovering sacred nuggets of truth in all the muck of my life!)

So here goes.

My intention for this painting was, "I own my magnitude, and let it shine in the world."

Why magnitude and not magnificent? Because magnitude is big and powerful, strong and fearless. You can't put magnitude in a box.

Here are a few things to know to help you understand the picture.

The bowl is a pensive from Harry Potter. It is a holder of memories and experiences, so when I need to know something, I need only look within my own lifetimes and the lifetimes of ancestors to find the answers. The tree represents all the wisdom available to me. There is nothing I am not connected to. It just requires my asking. The spiral behind the tree is connected to my heart so I can integrate these memories. I gain my power by owning my own life experiences. I move forward using the lessons of the past. I take what works, and release the beliefs that keep me small.

The vine growing through me is the growth that takes place when I use the wisdom I have gained. I included the mandala from my business because it reminds me of my soul purpose- to bring joy to others.

The galaxy and the stars around my head remind me I am made by Divine Design, and am a part of all I see around me. I am the queen of my own life.

Now here is what you don't know, but you will see a little of in the video below.

This is not a straight line process. It follows the ups and downs of my life, the places where I could see clearly and those where I felt I was in darkness. I trusted the process and allowed myself to go through the icky middle. We all have those icky middle times in our lives. (Remember the line from The Best Marigold Hotel when Sonny says, "Everything will be all right in the end. So if it is not all right, it is not yet the end.")

Even in the last week, I lost my way. Somehow my head took over and decided that I needed to be the giver of energy to others. I am sure this came from an old belief that I have to be good to deserve love and acceptance. My painting became a huge mess.

It was at this point when I almost gave up and threw away all of my hard work. I got frustrated, and wanted to quit instead of trusting the process of the icky middle. This shows up in my business more times than I wish. I can't shine for others if I am constantly giving.

When my art therapist reminded me to tap back into my heart and remember my intention, I gained the clarity I needed to get back on track.

I painted 12 hours in two days to finish in time for class. While you can't see it too well in the video, my face moved from one of concentration and effort to one of peace and acceptance.

This was one of the most transformational experiences I have ever had. I learned so much about my patterns in life by reflecting on how paint showed up on the canvas. If I wasn't ready to own my magnitude in a painting, I wasn't ever going to do it in real life!

What I have learned will hopefully remind me that I can do hard things. I have learned to go inside when things are tough and find the answers within. I own my magnitude and know that I can expand into whatever comes next for me.

Thank you for reading and supporting me in this process. I can't tell you how much it means to me when people reach out and say they resonate with what I am sharing. It gives me the energy I need to continue to share.

New to Intention Setting? Follow this link to a worksheet to help you create a powerful intention for your life!

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