Wasting Emotional Currency

When we are under stress, and things feel out of control, we often revert to coping mechanisms or patterns we developed in childhood, hoping that will lead us back to calm. When those don’t work, we can spiral into even more stress.

The world feels a little out of control right now. Not only am I trying to deal with loved ones and the changes in their lives, but I am also working to understand and cope with the challenges in our world. War, violence, corruption, greed, power over others, etc.

As an empath, I can feel my energy match the frenetic vibration of the world around, and I get drained very quickly.

Thank goodness I have healers and others in my life to help me come back to center.

An email newsletter reminded me that “This is for now, not forever.”

Even Instagram offered me this insight from one of the energy healers (Eileen McKusick) I follow.

“You only have so much energy to spend each day.

When you spend this energy being outrages at things you have no control over, you are wasting your emotional currency.

At the end of the day, you are exhausted, tied in knots, and have gotten zero return on that investment…Choose to use your energy where its most effective…Focus on what you can do.”

This reminds me of something shared by Carolyn Myss, author of Anatomy of the Spirit and many other books.

She said in any given day, you are given 100 lightbulbs of energy. They are designed for your use to keep your body healthy. Using the lightbulbs in positive ways creates more energy. And without awareness, those lights of energy can be disposed of in not so healthy ways

Perhaps I think of someone I am angry with, and I can feel my body rage. There goes one lightbulb. I make a mistake and call myself names. I just lost another lightbulb or two or three. My own critical mind is the most violent creature I must face! Maybe I remember to take a minute to breathe deeply, allowing that which doesn’t serve me to leave my body. I have sparked some energy in a positive way. And so on, throughout the day, I am using up or creating more reserves of energy in my body.

Much of my emotional energy these days has been focused on things I can’t control. My anger, sadness, grief, and frustration has taken a toll on my body, which of course doesn’t help.

I am now learning to undo patterns well-worn in my body and create new conversations with parts of myself. I want to speak kindly to my digestive system; at the same time, I want to scream at it. I must choose which reaction will serve me better.

Sometimes it takes a complete meltdown to remember; it is time to re-engage in conversation with my body and ask it what it wants me to know.

Today, with the help of a healer, I uncovered anger and released what I could from my body. I spoke with scar tissue and reminded it that I am now safe, not in need of any operation that will expose my insides. It can gently release over time. I spoke with the part of my body where fear was hiding. She is afraid to move forward so I let her know I am always with her. I spoke with the highly sensitive part of myself, whom I named Phoebe, which means bright; It might be my own self telling me not to be so sensitive! What a double loss of energy! In this healing, we chose to set an intention together on how to move forward.

Hopefully, this time of complete chaos has helped me to see that I can’t control the world outside of me. I can’t control what others do. But I can help my body use its emotional reserves in ways that help me be better, physically as well as emotionally.

I can learn to recognize patterns that keep me stuck. I can add tools to my toolbox for when the chaos in my world wants to take over again.

Only then, after I have put on my own oxygen mask, can I focus on what I can do to make the world a better place.